Saturday, April 20, 2013

How to Handle Marriage Separation

You and your spouse have been having some hard times, and have decided to take a break from each other. Some time to try and figure out what would be best for your marriage. This time of separation can be hard, but it can also be the key to saving your marriage. Here are some tips to help you through it.

Marital separation can quickly lead to depression. If you are experiencing signs of depression, (constant sleeping or eating, don't want to do anything or talk to anyone, can't get yourself motivated at all, etc.), please go to see your doctor asap. These signs are all very common for what you are going through right now, but if you don't deal with them now, you're not going to be able to handle the separation.

It is also very important that you have someone that you can lean on for support. When you have someone to talk to, it can make a huge difference in how you handle the marital separation. Even if that person has no idea what you are going through, they can help you, if only by listening. You NEED someone to talk to. A friend, family member, or anyone else that you are comfortable with.

If you haven't seen your family or friends for a while, now is the perfect time to do so. Have a get-together at your house. Have everyone bring a dish, so there will be no pressure on you to prepare anything. It doesn't have to be big and fancy - just something to get you with other people, and maybe get your mind off of the separation for a while.

It does absolutely no good for you to sit around the house and mope all day and night. You have to make yourself do other things. Get a new hobby, start reading or gardening, get a pet. All of these things will help you to cope with your marital separation.

Don't try to talk to your spouse often. Actually, the less talking you do right now, the better. It may not make sense, but it will.

Trying to push your spouse to talk to you will only build up more resentment. Once every few weeks, or once a month, give them a call, just to see how they are doing. This way, you will be able to talk, but they won't feel like you are begging them to come back. It will be a more comfortable talk, and you will get closer to a reconciliation.

Remember this: you are NOT divorced. Even if it is a legal separation, you are still married. Things in your marriage may not have been as good as they once were, but it doesn't always have to be that way. Take this time to reflect on your marriage, and think of ways that it could be made better.

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