Anger Management and Self-Control

Where there is patience and humility, there is neither anger nor vexation.
~St. Francis of Assisi

All sorts of things can trigger irritability in people, from minor traffic jams to major headaches. Everyone gets upset or annoyed sometimes. We all have lost our temper and reacted without thinking. We have succumbed to anger that drives us to say and do things we normally would not. And it is when we lose control over our thoughts and feelings, that our irritability and anger can do some major damage to our love walk.

For the most part, irritability is likely to occur when we feel under pressure. Therefore, one of the best tests for measuring our irritability is to observe how we behave when having to manage stressful circumstances or people. If we can remain graceful toward others when under pressure, then we are probably exercising self-control. Our temper is well-managed and good. We are not allowing agitation to anger us or disrupt our relationships. If, on the other hand, pressure and stress bring out the worst in us, then we probably need to work on our self-control and temper.

When irritable, we are very likely to become easily angered at others, sometimes at the slightest provocation. We might even become hostile and behave in ways we will later regret. Gaining control over our thoughts, feelings and actions when irritated and angry is the best way to keep from acting out in unloving ways.

Self-control communicates love. It can be seen whenever we:

* Take responsibility for our actions
* Do not accuse or blame others for the way we feel
* Treat others graciously although they irritate us
* Keep from saying something hurtful and unnecessary
* Do not take our anger out on those around us
* Think things through before we react
* Allow ourselves a time-out to gather ourselves together
* Do not expect more from others than we should

The disposition of love is self-control and a good temper. Having self-control and a good temper is easier said than done, especially for those individuals who are more prone to irritability for various reasons. Even so, we can all learn to gain greater control over our tempers and how we react under pressure. Irritations will never cease, nor does our love need to when they come.

C2007 Krystal Kuehn, BeHappy4Life.com

Excerpt above is part of the Love & Relationship Workshop: 10 Powerful Ways to Communicate & Experience Love. Program includes reflection questions, empowering thoughts, affirmations, and free printable worksheets.