Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The Secret to Success, Will Rogers Way: 3 Tips to Compliment Everyone

Many favorite quotes are attributed to Will Rogers, America's beloved, homespun sage.

When you hear his saying "I never met a man I didn't like" do you say: "Yes! That's easy." or "No! How about the guy who.... Or the lady who...."

What Rogers meant, of course, was that you could find a way to like every man or woman you meet by looking for some admirable quality in them-yes, there is some admirable quality in every person you meet.

If we adopt Will Rogers sympathetic, positive attitude toward people, we will find our own attitudes turning around and being more uplifted and positive. In other words, we benefit from the upward cycle of positivity that happens during a compliment exchange.

What you think you know, grows. If you think of someone as grumpy, mean-spirited, a real pain in the.... Guess what? That is how you will always know them.

Develop the habit of looking for good points, not bad ones. And know this: You will always find what you are looking for.


Then develop the habit of complimenting them about it. Take the time to say something admirable you have seen and it will change the interaction for you both -- and you will always meet people you like.

My friend Jamie encountered a grumpy woman at the deli counter next to her recently. Rather than simply ignoring her or judging the woman for her behavior (you do this, right? "She should be nicer"...that "she should" is a tip-off to judgment. And who knows what happened in her day or week before you came across her), she complimented her on her earrings.

The woman's whole demeanor changed. She got them on a recent vacation and was thrilled with the compliment on them.

Jamie wasn't trying to start a friendship or any kind of relationship with the woman, or wouldn't get through the line faster or anything else. But the positive interaction made Jamie -- and everyone else -- feel happier at that moment.

3 Tips on Finding Something to Compliment in Everyone

1) Take time to notice. You have to notice something to comment on it. Ask yourself -- what is commendable in the other person, in their abilities, character, personality, or even appearance? Observe them alertly, which really means, pay attention.

2) Ask questions -- about their work, their family, what they do with their free time, their home.

Don't overlook what seems less important about them. For example, someone successful in business might be less responsive to hearing about getting praised for their business acumen. Yet they might glow with pride over their new puppy, vegetable garden or dream vacation -- or even the new haircut or coat.

3) Give the compliment to others if that is more comfortable When you say a good word to someone about their family, home, or hobby, you are indirectly complimenting them, too. This works especially well when you are complimenting "up" such as a boss or someone of the opposite sex, when you don't want to come across as flirting.

Remember, you will develop your complimenting ability faster if you try to appreciate and compliment everyone, regardless of whether they can "do you any good." The fact is that every compliment you give does you some good, even if it only helps you to develop an attitude that makes you more receptive to success overall or fine tune a relationship skill that benefits you later.

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