Who is the most influential person in our life?
We ourselves! There is no other individual who has greater influence than we ourselves. We influence ourselves all the time by engaging in self talk. The way we talk and the words we say to ourselves have a far reaching effect than what we can imagine.
Listen to the following self talk by an insurance agent:
"I shouldn't have said that to my prospect! What a fool I was! My boss drives me crazy. I'll never achieve this month's sales target. I might as well quit!"
Probably it does not take too long for you to form an image of a tired, lethargic, gloomy, miserable or helpless person which is a sad sight to behold. You will feel your energy sap away by the depressed looks.
It is not common for an insurance agent to say something like this to himself since insurance agents always deal with the harsh reality that they listen to more "no" than "yes". Every "no" can be a hard blow to take and sometimes this may lead to emotional injury that requires time to heal.
Negative self-talk brings about anger, depression, pessimism, guilt, fear, and anxiety. On the other hand, emotional turbulence may also spark off negative self talk. It is like a vicious circle.
Negative self talk is as toxic as factory waste and as harmful as plague that requires immediate treatment. There are a number of ways to eliminate negative self talk:
(a) Reword, rephrase and reverse
Reword, rephrase and reverse the words used in negative self talk. Eliminate "apostrophe t" from disabling words such as "can't", "couldn't", "wouldn't" etc. Turn "what if" into "I am going to", turn "I don't know" into "Let me find out", turn "I doubt" into "I belief".
(b) Shift the time paradigm
Negative self talk focuses on past bitter experience and painful memories. Fast forward the time to imagine actions being taken to resolve the problem. Visualize the possibilities that are taking place in a near future. Instead of seeing failure, we see success.
(c) Be associated with positive thinkers
Be inspired by positive thinkers who embrace challenges with smiles and confidence. Be hyped up by their radiating vigor. Learn to glow with enthusiasm and give a pad on your shoulder to give yourself assurance that things are going to be alright.
(d) Unplug from negative environment
Detach yourself from stress infested environment. Unplug yourself from the surrounding that breeds negative emotions. Walk out of the problems that chain your soul. Get some fresh air. Let some panoramic view unfold before your eyes. Change of environment can lift the spirit.
(e) Get positive vibration from motivational songs
Motivational songs can be inspirational and uplifting. Our mood can swing from being melancholic to being jovial and happy just by playing the right kind of music. Be stirred up by upbeat music. Let stimulating music disintegrate your negative self talk.
(f) Read motivational quotes
Rediscover your mission and vision by submerging yourself in powerful and inspirational phrases by great leaders in different fields. Stand on the shoulders of giants so that you can see farther.
(g) Light activities
Free your mind of any thinking by carrying out some simple activities such as taking a deep breath or getting a drink of water etc to interrupt your train of thought. Take a walk and by the time you are back, the negative self talk would have disappeared into the thin air.
Reprogram your mind by repeating positive affirmations to reinforce and strengthen your confidence and self esteem. Think of some past achievements that you can use to endorse your capability and empower yourself to overcome fear and scale new heights
Negative Self Talk is our evil twin that is programmed to sabotage our success. Your most formidable enemy probably is Negative Self Talk, the enemy within you. If you don't have enemy within, enemies outside won't harm you.