Those who have gone through a divorce know that it is often a mixed bag of emotions, even if you were the one who initiated the split. Regardless of the reason, the changes that are involved are huge - living arrangements change, time with your kids might be affected, finances often take a hit, relationships with mutual friends and family might change, and you are releasing your "ideal" or vision for your life. However, with all this change comes the amazing opportunity for reinvention - and your life can now be invented according to your priorities, goals, and wishes. Here are the last 3 of 6 steps for starting over post divorce in a positive mindset:
1. Don't hesitate to seek professional help with your transition. If your emotions are feeling overwhelming or unmanageable, a counselor can be an excellent source of perspective and a trained professional who can help you process your emotions in a healthy manner. If you are feeling unclear about where to go from here and are interested in digging deeper into who you are, what you want, and how to get there, a coach might be an excellent fit for you.
2. Stop negative thinking cycles if they persist. Of course you will need to process what happened, determine your part in the demise of the marriage, and make peace with the outcome. All of this will help you as you move forward to happier relationships and better choices for yourself. However, if the negative thinking gets stuck in a loop, try imagining a big red "X" through the thought and say "Cancel" or "Stop" out loud. You can also slap your hand on a table and change activities to help break the thought circuit.
3. Begin to imagine the future, as you desire it. Consider your goals and dreams, and begin imagining in full detail how it will be when you achieve them, as if you are there now. Imagine how it will taste, feel, sound, look, and smell to be in that moment. The more you can do this and focus upon it, the more these thoughts will actually be drawn into your reality.