Has anyone ever accused you of being hard to love? What in the world does that mean? You know that depression puts a real damper on your emotions and you don't feel very lovable at a time when you probably need to be loved the most. But how does a person determine if they might be pushing others away as a coping strategy? The following partial list, a sort of mini depression test, that will help you decide:
- You criticize your family members in front of others.
- It is hard for you to accept loving actions from others.
- You back away from hugs or appropriate public displays of affection. You rarely ask for a hug or a kiss.
- You make fun of or are sarcastic to loved ones.
- You always have to be right and you tend to know it all.
- You take everything personally except responsibility.
- You can be emotionally abusive to loved ones.
- You can be dishonest and untrustworthy.
- You don't fight in a fair manner and manipulate others with your helplessness.
- You refuse to seek help and ignore ongoing problems.
If you can relate to 3 or more of the above statements you could be hard to love.
It is abundantly clear from the above list that most people would be leery of hanging around someone like this for any length of time and would eventually stop offering their hearts and minds. Children could learn to act this way from a parent's example. This will only deepen signs of depression and anxiety and further convince you that you are not lovable.
Being hard to love is fixable. It will require a commitment on your part but you can learn to be a loveable person who will welcome love. You are responsible for your own happiness and learning skills to change yourself is possible. Take tiny steps at first and keep building on them. Reach out and give someone a sincere compliment. Hold your sweetie's hand next time you are out in public and watch what happens. Become a good role model for you kids.
Depression has many facets and some of them are hard to uncover. You have probably heard that depression is just anger turned inward. From the above list it is easy to understand how that might work. In order for you to resist being hard to love you will need to learn to love yourself. It is possible and you are so worth it.
I'm hopeful for you.