Depression can be identified through its symptoms and signs. They may vary from person to person and sometimes they may not even be signs of depression at all but only normal low moments. If you are unsure of those overwhelming and disabling feelings, check if you have following: unexplained aches and pains, concentration problems, loss of interest and energy, self-loathing, appetite or weight changes, irritability and restlessness, and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. These are symptoms and signs of depression. Depression just feels horrible! So, how does it really feel to be depressed?
First, it feels like being in a dark and sorrowful abyss. Suddenly, you feel that life is not worth living anymore. Ironically, what used to be worthless and useless now gain importance. You are continually restless even when asleep. Some who are in state of depression may even wish death upon themselves due to unbearable feeling of pain and senselessness. You lose interest in the things you like and you lose the sense of purpose on life. You do not find meaning in what you are doing in the present and you resist the things you love doing. Since the present is painfully undesirable, the future automatically seems bleak and threatening.
Disgust for the present and repugnance for the future area accompanied by low level stamina and energy. You just do not feel like doing anything. Everything you do is forced. Within you, there is an endless emotional battle and you just feel so divided and vulnerable. Giving up everything and giving in to anything are just like to sides of the same distorted coin. You lose your capacity to filter information mentally or analyze objectively. The tendency to believe and accept anything negative is high. You just seem incapable of reasoning out. Worse, you suddenly become overly sensitive and sentimental. You can even cry anytime for banal reasons or for no reasons at all.
These painful sensations simply make you feel like being in a deep and dark hole, there at the rock bottom or the bottomless abyss. You wonder when you will come out of it or whether or not coming out is worthwhile. But dear, try climbing even if doing so may mean nothing at the moment and even if you run out of force to do so. When you are in a state of depression, it is often helpful to contradict yourself. When you are depressed, it can be healthy not to believe in you because you are not being you at that moment. Seek help outside you. Acknowledge your need to be helped even if doing so means nothing at all.
Second, when depressed you feel worthless and even useless. Your self-worth is affected as you feel diminished, broken, pained and afflicted. Your poignant sense of worthlessness is often accompanied by a sense of utter irrelevance. Suddenly, your established self-image disappears and there is a gnawing feeling of unexplained aches and pains in relation to who you think you are. These are repressed voices that reverberate from a frightened self that is needy of support and reference points, be they emotional, moral or spiritual. They become stronger as you feel you are standing on shaking and sinking ground.
You feel you are no longer the same person and resent to the fact that you are not you anymore. Loss of self-worth gives way to self-loathing. You hate yourself for having done or not done things within your range of appreciated behaviors. It is worse if you have learned to put blame on yourself and hammer your conscience with judgmental ethical criteria. They may lead to unhealthy guilt-feeling and self-condemnation. Since the state of depression is subject to exaggerated reactions, it is not uncommon for a depressed person to hate oneself. Needless to say, depression is a major risk factor for suicide. The deep despair and hopelessness are a cry for help.
If not heeded, it can make self-annihilation the only way to escape the pain. So again, if you are depressed, you need help. You just have to recognize that you are not fully equipped to free yourself from this trap, at least at this moment of in your life. It is not easy to be and appear vulnerable especially if you are used to seeing yourself as someone strong, independent and self-sufficient. What you need is learn how to face depression in a healthy manner and you will come out of it better and stronger than before. But first, accept help.
That's it. Feelings of depression are among the worst blows life can give you. But facing depression and putting it behind you is among the best gifts you can give to life. There is hope in the midst of depression.
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