Monday, April 1, 2013

How Do I Stop My Heart From Breaking?

Everyone experiences heart break at some point in their lives. Young love can end cruelly. More mature relationships can stop in their tracks. Marriages can dissolve. How can you endure the pain and get over a broken heart?

The initial realization that a relationship has gone sour is the hardest point on the timeline of healing from heartbreak. During the very first day, focus on the idea that you can take it one day at a time. Stop and breathe. Do not be afraid to let yourself feel sad, angry or depressed. The biggest mistake would be to suppress these feelings. It will be impossible to heal if you do. Let it all out so you can truly feel the pain and rage. Do not feel like you must face a normal day at work if you can't stand the idea. Call in sick, stay in bed, watch a funny movie to distract yourself, or a sappy love story to get a good cry. Mourn with those closest to you. The following few days can be for bitter, personal congratulations. You are human, you allowed yourself to love. Find words of comfort from your favorite music or inspirational speaker. Repeat motivational phrases like "I'm going to get through this" or "This is only a moment in time." Healing words can help you get over a broken heart.

As you gain momentum through the weeks the follow, get out again. Do not linger in the state depression. Go out with friends, take a walk, exercise. Cardiovascular activity produces endorphins and act as a natural pick-me-up. Resist the temptation to contact your ex. To get your feelings out, write a letter that you will not send. Go away for the weekend. Visit family. They will help you get over a broken heart. When you return, put everything out of sight that reminds you of your past relationship. No need to torture yourself. Treat yourself to something new, a hairstyle or day spa visit.

After about a month, when talking about the experience becomes less emotional, assess it. What did you learn about how to get over a broken heart? How can you relate better to others now who have been in similar situations? Start a new activity that will rebuild your confidence. Take a class, learn a new language or begin playing a musical instrument. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, where others' suffering will keep yours in perspective. Now might be an acceptable time to contact your ex, but only if you think it will help, not if all you want to say are hurtful things. Now or a little further down the line, begin dating again. Don't be afraid. It's essential to the healing process.

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