Scary Thrills Or Irrational Dread - Working With Fear and Anxiety

Many people enjoy getting scared with thrill rides, horror movies, bungee jumping, running in front of bulls. But what about dealing with unwanted terror? And can fear ever be useful for personal growth?

If you feel blocked from expressing your talents because of anxiety, there are many ways to help deal with it.

According to The National Institute of Mental Health, anxiety is "a normal reaction to stress. It helps one deal with a tense situation in the office, study harder for an exam, keep focused on an important speech. In general, it helps one cope."

But when anxiety "becomes an excessive, irrational dread of everyday situations, it has become a disabling disorder."

We may feel anxiety without any "real" threat, such as social anxiety and stage fright, for example. Unless you consider the reaction of a potential date or an audience to be threats. Maybe they are, in a sense.

We may experience many flavors of fear in living life. The idea is not to get shut down by those emotions.

Psychiatrist Judith Orloff, M.D. quotes the Tao te Ching: "Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe."

She thinks "Fear is the biggest energy thief there is. A master seducer and gigantic source of negative energy, fear shamelessly robs of us of everything good and powerful, preys on our vulnerabilities.

"Many people become mesmerized for a lifetime, letting negative attitudes seize control. Enough! Though some fears are intuitively protective but we can't let the irrational ones bamboozle us."

But fear can even be helpful, according to Robert Maurer, a UCLA clinical psychologist. After interviewing many successful writers and other creative people, and reviewing research studies, Dr. Maurer found the one ingredient that is "nearly indispensable" to the creative process is fear.

"Fear is good," he says. "As children, fear is a natural part of our lives, but as adults we view fear as a disease. It's not a disease. Children say they are afraid or scared, but adults use the clinical terms anxiety or depression.

"Your skill at being able to nourish yourself and give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them is your single greatest attribute as an artist and as a human being."

Philosopher and teacher Jiddu Krishnamurti affirmed, "What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it."

Some artists even welcome fear. Actor Sandra Bullock has commented, "I don't do anything anymore that feels safe. If it doesn't scare the crap out of you, then you're not doing the right thing."

But mostly we may learn to condemn or pathologize feelings, especially strong ones like fear and anxiety, and try to hide or shut them down.

Lesley Sword, of Gifted and Creative Services Australia, notes that "Speaking about and valuing our emotions can be very difficult to do in a society that values logical thinking and sees emotions as the opposite of rationality.

"However, if emotional intensity is seen by parents and presented positively to children as a strength, children can be helped to understand and value this gift. In this way emotionally intense children will be empowered to express their unique selves in the world and use their gifts and talents with confidence and joy."

That, of course, holds true for adults as well - gifted or not.

Anxiety, especially if it is strong enough to be considered a mood disorder, can deplete our confidence and joy, and keep us from developing our talents or living our lives fully.

So do whatever you can to free your mind and spirit from being clamped down by anxiety. Fortunately there are many therapies, self-help programs for meditation and stress management, lifestyle and nutritional approaches that can help relieve anxiety.

Depression - How to Handle Suicidal Thoughts

Chances are that if you've been depressed for awhile, or you're experiencing ongoing hopelessness, some aspect of yourself has begun to drop not so subtle hints about checking out of life. You've probably even heard that voice beckoning you with the promise of no more pain, and tempting you with the lure of rest from your self-tormenting thoughts.

Is Suicide An Option?

Depression or hopelessness affects your thoughts in such a way that you may not see any solution to the problem. That's because depression leads you to focus on failures, disappointments, and the negative side of the situation. Depression obscures any possibilities of happiness or a good outcome. Depression keeps you trapped in overwhelming pain, hopelessness, worthlessness and shame, and a sense of being powerlessness to change current conditions. Depression leads to believing, "there is no way out," "there's nothing I can do," and, "it will never get better."

When there is no access to joy, no escape from misery, and no hope of things ever changing, it is a natural progression to eventually consider suicide as an alternative. A shift happens when you stop praying to get better and start praying for an end to suffering. It's not so much that you want to die, rather that you want a "real" change, an escape from an ongoing situation that seems impossible to deal with, or a way to regain a sense of being in control over distressing thoughts or feelings. However, suicide is such a taboo subject that hardly anyone tells us that it is OK to feel so bad that you would think about leaving life.

What To Do With Suicidal Thoughts

If you are having thoughts of suicide follow these three suggestions:

1. Talk with Someone

Instead of hiding suicidal thoughts, explore suicidal ideas in a manner that brings them outside of yourself. This means talking about your feelings with someone who can be caring, calm, non-judgmental, and non-confrontational. Don't wait until things get better. Call someone such as a friend, counselor, priest, or suicide crisis center that is capable of listening with acceptance.

Two excellent suicide hotline resources in the U.S. include:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service

National HopeLine

A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service

2. Express Depression by Writing or Drawing

If talking with someone isn't an action that you will take, then write extensively in a journal or on a pad of paper. Overcome your resistance to writing, rise above your desire to keep everything inside and write. Write often. Write big, messy, angry, hopeless words. Write about your problems, express your pent up feelings, describe your loneliness. Use dark colors if you want, cuss, scream, and express your despair. If you are feeling lethargic, then write about how that feels. Be "bad," say all the things no one wants to hear, be ugly - be anything but the nice "feeling fine" person you show to the world. Avoid thinking you need to solve your problems when you write. Simply give expression to the thoughts trapped in your head. Write about how you are hurting, how your life sucks, how you can't feel joy anywhere.

If you can't write, grab a pencil, a handful of colored markers, or a box of Crayola crayons and draw pictures of how you feel. Your pictures aren't supposed to be pretty, pleasing, or "good." Instead, they allow you an important avenue of creative expression. What does depression look like to you?

3. Talk to Yourself in the Mirror

If talking to someone seems impossible, if writing or drawing seems overwhelming, then go to a mirror and speak your thoughts aloud. There's no correct form of self-talk but you do want to look at yourself in the mirror, speak truth, and avoid sugar-coated affirmations. There's no point in saying positive affirmations such as "I'm blissful, content, and serene,'" when in fact you're contemplating ending your life. In addition, berating yourself for feeling depressed isn't going to help either.

Instead, speak truth about your current situation, make a choice to continue living, and give yourself some much needed encouragement. You could say something like:

"I'm feeling depressed and suicidal and it's okay to feel this way. A part of me wants to give up and it's showing me how to end my life. But even though I'm feeling this way, I choose to go on with my life today. I don't know how I'm going to overcome this depression, but I am doing the best I can. For right now, all I have to do is get through this hour. And I'm doing that by talking to myself."

What's most important is giving your suicidal thoughts a form of expression. Any form of expression - talking to another person, writing, drawing, or talking aloud to yourself in the mirror - gives you an opportunity to see your situation differently. We are much more able to cope with externalized expression than internalized thoughts.

Doesn't Allowing Suicide As An Option Encourage It?

A conscious exploration of suicide, of an idea that is already circling in your head, doesn't mean that you are encouraging this option. Instead, it opens up a dialog with something that you have already been considering.

Unexpressed, internalized suicidal thoughts tend to dwell on the process of suicide. Meaning thoughts are generally related to planning the act, thinking about when you would do it (today, tomorrow, next week), and the method you would use. Without expression, those types of thoughts gather momentum, growing bigger and stronger, until they obsessively swirl around in your head.

However, when you consciously express suicidal thoughts, you move beyond the best method to kill yourself. Rather then dwell on the final details of your demise, you actively explore your distress. You allow yourself to explore why suicide seems the best option, what problems it is supposed to solve, and how your choice might impact your evolution.

Giving expression to your thoughts doesn't suddenly make everything better, but it does provide opportunity to unburden your troubles and ventilate your feelings. Talking to others, talking aloud to self, or writing allows you to move energy, feel a tiny, tiny (but much needed) sense of relief, and tap into a deeper reserves of creativity and problem solving. Expression means you are taking action and actively bringing new awareness to your situation from new angles and perspectives.

When you keep suicidal thoughts hidden, you become trapped with extremely limited choices. Those choices include:

• Pretending suicidal thoughts aren't present


• Doing your best to fight against suicidal thoughts (even though what we fight continues to grow stronger every day)


• Sleeping, eating, drinking, or medicating as a means to suppress suicidal thoughts


• Give in to compulsive suicidal thoughts and end your life.

However, when you give yourself permission to explore suicide as an option, you bring those ideas out into the open. These thoughts are no longer frozen in your mind. Instead, expression gives your thoughts the freedom to evolve, and to move beyond noisy, chaotic clatter in your brain.

Allowing Death as an Option Allows Life as an Option

Once you give yourself permission and consciously consider suicide as an option, those thoughts become one option instead of the only option.

As you consciously contemplate your own death, you also contemplate the option of continuing with your life. Maybe for the first time ever you put aside your beliefs of hopelessness, you set aside your obligations to family and friends, and you set aside the belief of suicide being a sin. In your heart, you put yourself first and search for a reason to continue living.

When you explore the possibility of suicide, you open your mind to the most meaningful questions of life itself:

• Do I wish to continue to live?


• What would have to change for me to want to continue life?


• Is it possible to live a life beyond fear and despair?


• What would give meaning to my life?


• What could I do today to give meaning to my life?


• Even though there is no joy to be found right now, do I choose life for myself?

You may not have any answers to these questions, but it is most important that you ask them. Recognition of our ability to affect our own mortality can be a profound experience. When you strip away all ideas of sin, of shame, of obligation to anyone else other than you, would you give yourself life or death?

Many depressed people, when they allow themselves to consciously look at death as an option realize that there is deep important meaning in their depression. It's not a lesson to be learned, it's not a punishment, and it's not a test. Depression is an indicator of a transition or evolution into something new.

Perhaps, this is one purpose of depression all along - to make a conscious choice about deciding to live at this stage in your evolution. As any depressed or hopeless person knows all too well, no higher being has yet come down from heaven to take your depression or suffering away. If a heavenly spirit isn't going to save you, would you choose to save yourself?

Depression and Divorce - Helping Your Children Cope With Both

Divorce has many effects on children. No two children will react in exactly the same way. That's why parents need to be diligent about watching for signs and indications that your child may be having problems coping with this difficult reality.

Depression is one of the more common reactions we see in children of divorce. Unfortunately, many parents entirely miss or misinterpret the signs of depression. It can take many forms including behavior that is distancing, lethargic and withdrawn. This is often accompanied by a drop in school grades. But depression can also show in other ways, such as agitation, frustration and aggression.

When depression takes that form, parents are likely to think of it in terms of discipline problems and respond with punishment. It takes maturity and a broader perspective to stand back and realize that your child's misbehavior may actually be a way of communicating how they are feeling. Their confusion, anger, resentment and powerlessness to control their life circumstances get expressed physically because they don't know how to verbalize those complex emotions.

Understanding and compassion go a long way toward opening that door to communication. Instead of punishment, try talking about your new family situation and acknowledging areas that can be improved. Ask for suggestions. Try to get feedback, to create a dialogue rather than lecturing.

The key for parents is in finding more time for emotional support and reassurance to help your child feel less alone or isolated - especially by the new circumstances in his or her life. If extended family - grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins are not close by, this becomes even more essential. Children need the support of emotional anchors - close family and friends - and the consequences of divorce too often isolates them from the very people who can best help them through the transition. For this reason you as a parent must continuously keep your eyes open for signs of emotional distress - and then quickly respond with love, attention, compassion and both physical and emotional support.

Studies show that the rate of serious depression is increasing in children - up from 2% a generation ago to 23% for children up to age 20. Not all of it is divorce related, of course, but it still should be a wake-up call to parents. Don't beat yourself up with guilt. That doesn't serve any one in the family. But do be alert so you can address issues that come up early on, before they lead to far greater problems.

Exercise On An Elliptical Trainer To Improve Your Mood

Even the most optimistic people have gone through times when they did not view their life in a positive light. Some people struggle with a depressed mood on a regular basis, while most will become more anxious and depressed in response to a negative event, such as prolonged unemployment, a divorce, or the death of a loved one. The medical profession has a number of drugs they can prescribe, but all drugs have side effects and may not be that effective at treating the problem. Exercise is an option that can enhance mood that offers other positive effects for your overall health. An elliptical trainer has the features that make it an ideal fitness machine to improve your mood.

Research on anxiety, depression and exercise shows that the psychological and physical benefits of exercise can also help reduce anxiety and improve mood. And after you feel better, continuing to exercise may keep anxiety and depression from coming back.

Duke University conducted a randomized controlled trial in 1999 that concluded that depressed adults who participated in an aerobic exercise program improved as much as those treated with sertraline, the drug Pfizer marketed as Zoloft.

Phillip Holmes, a neuroscience professor at the University, has shown that several weeks of exercise can switch on certain genes that increase the brain's level of galanin, a peptide neurotransmitter that appears to tone down the body's stress response by regulating another brain chemical, norepinephrine. This causes the brain to show less stress in response to new stimuli.

Exercise releases endorphins, which are feel-good chemicals that aid with the symptoms of depression. There are more of these chemicals released as you increase the intensity of the workout, which is why it may take less time exercising to improve your mood when you do more vigorous activities. An elliptical trainer can give you the type of vigorous workout you need to be most effective at combating anxiety and depression. As your fitness improves, you can really amp up the intensity of an elliptical workout by increasing resistance, incline, or strides per minute. The elliptical workout is also effective at changing your body composition, increasing lean body mass and reducing fat, and that can have a positive effect on self esteem.

Exercise can be effective way to enhance mood and combat anxiety and depression. A new or used elliptical trainer is a great way to get the exercise you need to look and feel you best.

Stress and Anger - Symptoms and Management

Stress crumbles your body's immune system and makes you look older than your age. Not only does it bring about negative physical changes but also affects your biochemical state with extra adrenal steroids in the blood stream. Frequent headaches, anxiety, frequent mood swings, sadness, anger, frustration and depression are some of the most common effects of stress. Stress and anger affect your overall health and may cause serious physical and mental health problems in long run. In order to manage your stress and anger, focus on holistic living. It is an approach that nourishes your mind, body and soul and helps you to stay happier and peaceful throughout your life.

Stress and Anger Symptoms

Stress and anger affect your body, mind and behaviour in several ways. It is not necessary that everyone suffering from stress and depression exhibit same symptoms. It affects different people in different ways. Some may experience high degree of stress symptoms while some may exhibit only physical symptoms depending upon the degree of stress and anger.

Physical Symptoms

Physical symptoms of stress include dizziness, excessive sweating, breathlessness, nail biting, constipation, diarrhea, nervous twitches, cramps, chest pain, heart diseases, upset stomach, back pain, frequent headaches, heart palpitations, decreased immunity, high blood pressure, asthma, diabetes, aging, frequent cold, pins and needles, tingling sensation, restlessness, insomnia, loss of sexual desire, heart ailments and muscular aches. It may sometimes result in a stroke or heart attack.

Mental Symptoms

Mental symptoms of stress include anxiety, irritability, restlessness, unnecessary worrying, sadness, depression, loneliness, anger, and feeling of insecurity, lack of focus, depression, burnout, tiredness, difficulty concentration, forgetfulness and loss of mental balance.

Behavioral Symptoms

Stress not only affects your physical and mental well being but messes up your life. Frequent episodes of stress also affect your day-today behaviour. It results in overeating, under eating, forgetfulness, increased smoking, frequent crying spells, angry outburst, loss of temporary memory, social withdrawal, relationship conflicts, drug or alcohol abuse, increased or suppressed anger, lack of interest in work, excessive emotion, loss of sense of humor, feeling out of control, unable to concentrate on anything, feeling helpless or inferior etc.

Studies have shown that about 60-70 percent adults are suffering from stress and depression due to their hectic work schedules, relationship conflicts and unmanaged lifestyle. Around 30-40 percent people visit psychiatrists while rest indulge themselves in drinking smoking and drug abusing. Few adults attempt to suicide.

Stress and Anger Management

Yoga and meditation are found to be very effective in managing stress and anger. Practicing yoga and meditation regularly helps you relieve your tension and stress and makes you feel relaxed and happier.

Some relaxation techniques including exercise, deep breathing, music therapy, natural walks, a warm and hot bath, body stretching, humor, diversion and distraction help greatly in stress management.

Reexamining your reactions and spending time with your loved ones are the best anger management techniques. This way you can assess your extreme behaviour and discover the possible solutions to bring a positive change in yourself.

Holistic living can help to a great extent in managing your stress and anger. The concept is all about living a balanced and healthy life while being close to nature. It not only includes physical well being but also includes your other dimensions such as your body, mind and soul. It brings out a complete change over in your personality and thought process. You become more relaxed and happier.

Successfully Curing Depressive Symptoms

Among the most prevalent and perhaps troubling symptoms of depression is the constant fatigue and cognitive dysfunction both of which make daily tasks seem like a frustrating ordeal. However this is by no means the definite destiny a depression sufferer has to accept and expect to experience constantly - the condition and its symptoms can be alleviated and even eradicated by determination and following basic tips such as these:

- Get a good amount of sleep: during sleep you allow your body to rest and enhance its recovery abilities. You might have noticed that not getting enough sleep is rather detrimental to your depression and tends to exacerbate its symptoms.

- Eat healthily: avoiding excess sugars and having several multiple meals throughout a day rather than a single large one will help you fight fatigue and the cognitive obscurity intrinsic to depression. Drinking water rather than sweet soft drinks is many times enough to achieve noticeable outcomes.

- Exercise: aerobic exercise has been implicated to facilitate neurogenesis or the formation of new neural connections in the hippocampus which is often the main target of depression. Exercise will not only help you combat the neurotoxic effects depression can, via increased cortisol levels, produce, but will also add to your mental/physical stamina further reducing possible fatigue and restlessness.

- Supplementation: vitamins and supplements such as B-complex, Zinc, Fish Oil, Branched Chained Amino Acids (BCAA) and many serve as precursors, factors, modulators, intermediates etc. in many bodily processes which might be directly or indirectly malfunctioning in depression. Because many of these substances are not-toxic and rather essential (within reasonable doses) it gives you an opportunity to experiment and find what works for your depression the most. I, personally, find BCAA and Fish Oil the most helpful in fighting fatigue and cognitive dysfunction among other depressive symptoms.

- Getting to know your depression: knowing the possible biological/psychological causes of depression can be of great aid in addressing your symptoms because you will be able to see deeper into the problem allowing you to make sound adjustments beneficial to the course of your malady. Reading depression related books and articles can and will therefore prove useful.

All of these, especially if combined, will help you take some considerable weight off your everyday depression making life more pleasurable and manageable. Give the techniques some time to start working because their true full potential unravels with continuous implementation.

Bipolar Disorder Books - The Best Three Reads For Manic Depression

Are you flustered on how to deal with your illness? Perhaps you have a friend who has this disorder and you are looking for a book on bipolar disorder? Maybe you have a spouse who has recently been diagnosed, and you are wondering how your relationship can work. For all of these situations, you should check out your local library or bookstore and peruse these three titles.

1.) Bipolar Disorder for Dum-mies

Bipolar Disorder for Dum-mies, by Candida Fink, is one of those books that provides an excellent overview of a subject. Not only does this resource contain self-help techniques and advice on the latest medications and therapies, but this bipolar book also teaches friends and families how to deal with someone who is suffering from this illness.

2.) The Everything Health Guide to Adult Bipolar: Reassuring Advice to Help You Cope

This book on bipolar disorder is written by Jon Bloch, and includes about every topic imaginable, including how to deal with relationships if you or someone you love is bipolar, as well as symptoms and how to receive the proper diagnosis. Even better, everything is put into simple to understand terms, so there is no confusing doctor jargon to worry about.

3.) Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner

By Julie A. Fast, this book was included in the top three because of the rarity of the subject matter. Millions of Americans love someone with bipolar disorder, and many marriages are destroyed because this illness is left untreated. This book is written purely from the perspective of learning to deal with a partner who is bipolar, and includes plenty of first hand accounts of relationships. If you are searching for love and don't know what you are getting into, this bipolar book is a must read.