Living With A Depressed Partner When They Think You're To Blame

Depression comes in many forms, some of them not being recognizable as such. Living with a depressed partner can be a huge problem, particularly when they may be blaming you for their problems.

Being around a chronically depressed partner or mate requires special understanding and a willingness to help them work through their depression. It takes a special person to do the things necessary to cope with your partner's depression.

Depression has led to relationship break-ups when the depressed person is convinced that their partner is the cause of the depression. While they may contribute to the ailment, the partner is not the cause.

It is also true that break-ups cause depression, but not usually of the clinical variety. A break-up involving an already depressed person could lead to greater depression and increased thoughts of worthlessness and even suicide.

Everyone experiences non-clinical depression at times. When we have had a loss in the family or a set-back at work or a negative change in our plans we often experience minor depression. We feel sad, but this passes.

Clinical Depression Defined

Clinical depression is a mental disorder that is usually characterized by any five of the following symptoms occurring at the same time:

* A sad mood during much of the day.
* Fatigue or energy loss every day.
* Guilty or worthless feelings.
* Inability to concentrate.
* Indecisiveness.
* Insomnia or the reverse, hypersomnia almost every day.
* Disinterest in most activities.
* Recurring thoughts of suicide or death.
* Restlessness, inability to sit still.
* A significant weight loss or gain in a short period.
* Persistent aches and pains, cramps, headaches or digestive problems.
* Irritability.

These symptoms may also be caused by medication for a variety of illnesses. If unaccompanied by medication, they are most likely the signs of clinical depression. If the symptoms are present for more than two weeks, medical assistance should be sought.

Causes and Treatment of Clinical Depression

The causes of depression are myriad and include: Biological problems, heredity, psychological and psycho-social problems and long-term drug use. If a propensity for depression exists, it may be brought on by pressures in relationships, careers or tragic life events.

The treatment of depression usually involves drugs, psychological counseling and therapy. Depression may never be cured, but it can be managed with proper treatment.

Some forms of depression are cyclical or seasonal, occurring during seasonal changes or periodically, triggered by calendar events or holidays. In women, estrogen may be responsible for bouts of depression.

Some over-the-counter herbal remedies may be effective; St. John's wort, omega3 fatty acids, S-adenosylmethionine (SAMe), are a few studied. Physical exercise has also been shown to be effective in abating the symptoms.

Left alone, the condition will sometimes correct itself over time. The real worry is, however, the harm an inflicted person may render to themselves. Suicide is a very real threat with clinical depression.

Dealing with Depression in Your Partner

First of all you have to understand that clinical depression is a disease. It is not a conscious choice for a person to be depressed, in fact if they had a choice, they wouldn't be depressed.

You have to be very understanding of what your depressed partner is going through. Recognize the symptoms and encourage them to seek treatment if the symptoms persist.

You must be sympathetic, gentle and supportive. You cannot ignore the symptoms, but you may try to nullify them by involving your partner in physical activities; take them to the health club, take a long sports-walk or something similar.

You may also try to keep them interested in other activities that involve interaction with other people. Don't leave them alone to wallow in their despair. Be there for them, even though it is very trying and tough on you.

Also, you must do everything within your power to assure your partner that you are not causing their mental problems. You must be loving, attentive and calming without being over solicitous.

Try to remove or diminish whatever is causing the depression, if it is something within your control. Maybe a change of scenery, or locale will help.

Seek the assistance of your clergyman. If you don't have a parish membership, seek one out. The calming effect of finding and practicing a religious faith can heal many mental problems.

Your priest, pastor, rabbi or other religious leader is familiar with many of the problems faced by their parishioners and many of them have received formal training in how to address these issues.

If a partner's depression has led to a separation, divorce or break-up because the depressed partner was convinced that you are the root of their problems, there is little you can do.

You may be dealing with your own depression over the break-up and should probably seek counseling yourself.

Read Motivational Life Quotes to Improve Your Life

Great Motivational Life Quotes are sure to motivate you when going gets tough. They motivate you to take action towards the goal you have decided for yourself and inspire you to live life with full enthusiasm. These Quotes takes you to an entire new world and lighten the road of success for you.

Reading them on a regular basis can change your whole life for the better. If you read Inspirational Quotes on Life on morning before starting your work and in the night before going to bed, then after some days your thoughts and beliefs towards life will change. You will become a person with positive attitude and sharp mind who can tackle any difficulties and problems.

Here are some ways how reading motivational life quotes and applying them into your life can change your life.

1- Inspirational Life Quotes gives you quick boost in your motivation to achieve your life goals and thus helps you becoming a successful person. A good life quote gives you instant motivation and makes you feel happier and relaxed. This, in turn, fills you with energy and motivation which drives you forward towards achieving your goals. 

2- Motivational Quotes about Life are one of the best ways to get rid of depression. They help you tide over your mood and help you recover happiness. As the name suggests, Motivational Life Quotes are created to motivate you, to help you understand the true meaning of life and lighten up your mood when things are not going your way. And the best thing is you need not to spend any money. Isn't it great you are getting so many benefits free of cost? So next time whenever problems overwhelm you read some motivational quotes about life to get back to life.

3- These Quotes helps you in get rid of the habit of procrastination which is one of the biggest obstacles in your way of success. It is not an easy thing to beat procrastination, but reading motivational life quotes can do wonders in beating this enemy of your success. You can get rid of it only by having a heavy dose of inspiring and motivating messages which motivates you take action and thus stop procrastination. And nothing can motivate you the way that Motivational Life Quotations do.

4- There are roughly endless numbers of life quotes available for you. You can choose whichever quote you like. In other words, you never run out of original, motivational life quotes that will help give you motivation and strength to succeed in life.

It won't hurt you to print off some great motivational Life Quotes on poster and hang them in your room wall for maximum effect. My suggestion is to read them regularly in order to experience a stark difference in the way you think, act and behave. 

Some of the More Common Symptoms of Depression

Depression is a medical condition brought about the chemical imbalance in the brain, as well as other factors such as medication. Although "depression" is commonly described as "feeling low," "decreased mood" or simply feeling sad, it actually pertains to a serious illness that may be treated, but not cured. Depressed individuals are less active in school, home, and work, and the illness is likely to affect their emotions, eating and sleeping habits, and social relationships negatively.

Depression occurs once in some individuals, but may reoccur in others. The illness is usually recognized through its observable symptoms. This article deals with the various symptoms that may indicate a worsening, debilitating mental illness.

Significant emotional changes are observed in depressed individuals. These changes in turn affect everyday activities and social relations. The most common symptom is a feeling of being overwhelmed by sadness or fear, or in some individuals, complete apathy. Depressed individuals may be unable to enjoy activities they used to fine pleasurable, such as conversation with friends, hobbies, or even sex.

Depressed individuals are also content in being alone. They may think badly of themselves, believing they are inadequate, helpless, or hopeless, among other negative labels. They may avoid or refuse dealing with their peers. Strained relationships with friends may cause the mental illness to worsen unchecked.

Marked impatience and irritability are also symptoms of depression. Depressed individuals suffer mood swings and anxiety attacks, and may easily get angry at the slightest provocation. In some cases, this results in aggressive behavior that leads to an addiction to sex, alcohol, or drugs. They also experience difficulty in thinking clearly, hampering their performance in school or work.

Depression also manifests itself through physical changes in a sufferer's body. Depressed individuals may feel a compulsion to overeat - or conversely, lose their appetite - resulting in a sudden increase or decrease in weight. Changes in sleep patterns are also evident, as depressed individuals may either sleep too much or find it hard to fall asleep. There is also a noticeable lack of interest in hygiene and personal grooming.

Unexplained physical pain, such as muscle fatigue, headaches, and abdominal discomfort may also signal the onset of depression. If these discomforts appear without warning, and is accompanied by a change in the individual's disposition as well, it is usually a sign of an underlying depression.

Severe forms of depression may cause the individual to harbor thoughts of death or dying, and may even attempt suicide. Cases of such attempts have been observed throughout history and is a recognized symptom of depression. Consultation and medication is imperative at this point.

While depression mostly hits young adults, cases of depression in children have also been observed. Some children are not as well-equipped as their peers in adapting to changes in their environment, such as going to school for the first time. Symptoms of childhood depression are similar to the symptoms that adult sufferers show. Children with depression may not be aware of their condition, and will have to depend on adults to recognize the condition.

Diabetes and Depression: A Silent Side-Effect

One of biggest, and most silent, side effects of having diabetes is the toll it can take on your state of mind. The fact that it is a life long condition makes it a heavy burden to carry and some days it will weigh more than others. It's thought that a lot of diabetics go through some form of mental anguish or depression at some point in their lives and dealing with this often isn't spoken about or dealt with the same emphasis that is place on blood sugar control and insulin management.

I want to start by saying I am not a mental health professional, but I have had type 1 diabetes for more than a decade and I have experienced my fair share of highs and low (both glucose and mindset based!). I feel this qualifies me to speak on this subject in the hope that my experiences may help other people with diabetes who often find it's too much of a burden.

My diagnosis came at the age of 20, after a pretty near death experience with D.K.A. I'd never really considered my mortality at all before then and all of a sudden I felt that i was "sick" and I would be that way forever. It was a very low point. 4 or 5 times a day I would test my blood sugar and the number I saw would dictate my mood:

4-7 = happy,

under 4 = "annoyed but at least it's not high",

above 9 = disheartened, upset, frustrated, scared.

And that was the way of things for a while, to cut a long story short I managed to learn about my condition and how it affected me. I found out quickly that I could use exercise as a potent weapon to control my highs and lows and when I was finally prescribed Novorapid it began to make things a lot easier.

I consider my diabetes very well controlled at this stage, yet sometimes I still find it a heavy weight to carry. Those times when you do everything correctly and still can't get those high levels to come down, the days when you seem to get one hypo after another, that sense of it dragging on your energy levels even when your blood glucose is normal. The physical burden of the condition can bleed into your state of mind and make my life seem constantly uphill. Those are the bad days.

But I always try to see the big picture. An easy trap to fall into is to feel that diabetes defines you, mostly because it very quickly becomes a major influence in your decision-making. If you start to feel like you shouldn't do something because you have diabetes then you are making a mistake as by & large there are very few things that you can't do. That mindset is indicative of the disease having taken control of your life. Fight it with all the strength you can muster. Don't get me wrong, I know it is different for everyone, it's scary and it is often frustrating but I have always felt that everyone is given the weight they can carry and positivity is one of your most potent weapons.

My thoughts always come back to one simple fact: no matter what sort of day I'm having, no matter how difficult, how scary, how disabling this disease can often be, the truth is that if nature had its way I would have died just short of my 21st birthday. Medical science, and more to the point, insulin ensured that didn't happen but the fact remains that every day I have gotten since then is a day that nature never intended me to have. I'm now 31 and during those years in-between I have travelled all over the world,moved to a different country, met great friends, met & married the woman I love and become a dad to a beautiful (& bold!) daughter. These are experiences I was never intended to have so if I also have to take the rough edge of hypos, needles, testing and insulin adjustment then I'm OK with it.

People often say to me: "having diabetes must be a terrible burden?" and my reply is always the same: "sometimes yes. But if I have to suffer with something I'm almost glad it's this". Diabetes has also had a profoundly positive effect on me. I value my health in a way I probably never would have, I eat a healthy diet and exercise not just because it's good for controlling my sugars but because I really love doing it. These are habits and attitudes that are good news for everyone, diabetic or not. I would love to meet the "me" who never got diabetes and compare my quality of life I have now with what I may have had without the disease. At 21 I smoked, drank too much, ate badly and didn't know anything about taking care of myself. Odds are that might not have changed without diabetes coming into my life. Diabetes, to a significant degree, has made me who I am and I'm oddly thankful to it for that.

So if you are having a hard time dealing with diabetes, whether it's too many hypos, stubborn high blood sugars or just upset by the fact that you have it in the first place. First take a breath and decrease your testing to a for a day or two. I've often found doing this gives me a little "diabetes holiday" and gets it out of my mind so I can think clearly. Then when you're ready you can look at it with fresh eyes. And remember you are not alone. Talk to those closest to you, don't hold it in. Maybe they wont be able to offer anything other than a friendly ear but it helps to get things off your chest. There are multiple avenues you can explore for more specific help: from diabetes nurses, coaches and educators to counselors and diabetes communities/forums on the Internet. If you are brave enough to admit you need help, it is already at your fingertips.

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it"

Enjoy your health

Chris | YD

Depression - Diagnosis and Types of 3 Depressive Disorders

Depressive disorders are a health related disease that involves the mind and human body. Depression or any major depressive disorder may be defined as clinical depression. Depression affects how you experience, think and respond. A depressive disorder can lead to an assortment of mental and physical problems. You may have problems doing normal day-to-day routines, and depression may make you feel as if living isn't worth living. Many people close to depressed individuals fail to recognize the severity and intensity that one's depressive state can bring.

There tend to be numerous distinct types of depression. Usually they are recognized by way of their commonplace characteristics, length and degree of signs and symptoms. The majority of these types of varieties of depression are defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), an American Psychiatric Association publication which identifies the standard criteria for different types of psychiatric disorders.

Below are the 3 major types of Depressive Disorders

Major Depression- This type of depression is also known as a major depressive disorder. The occurrence occurs with signs or symptoms which continue for most of the day, practically just about every day for at minimum two weeks. A major indicator is depressed feelings and/or a noticeable decline in interest or enjoyment in all or most activities.

One looking for signs to confirm diagnosis should look for 4 more symptoms.

• difficulty sleeping or increase in sleeping

• fatigue or loss of energy

• difficulty concentrating and making decisions

• thoughts of death or suicide

• feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and low self-esteem

Dysthymia - This depressive disorder is also known as Dysthymic Disorder. An individual exhibiting signs of this disorder will have a consistent depressed mood for at least two years. This disorder is a chronic condition characterized by depressive symptoms that occur for most of the day, more days than not, for at least 2 years. It is similar to Major Depression but not as severe. Often, the disorder will progress to Major Depression. Look for some of these signs below.

• Change in eating habits, normally a decrease or increase in eating

• Change in sleeping habits such as increased or decreased sleeping.

• Self esteem which has been lowered accompanied by feelings of hopelessness.

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

Manic Depression - This kind of depression is a serious bipolar disorder where the individual feelings revolve around mania (excitement) and depression. Sometimes the person may manifest their feelings entirely in one mood. At other times, the feelings cycle between manic and depressive states. Sometimes the person has delusional thoughts. Look for 3 or 4 of these symptoms below.

• More extroverted than usual or excited and more talkative

• Reduction in sleeping

• Increased self-esteem or self-importance

• More distracted or less focused

• Engagement in behavior that is pleasurable to the individual but considered risky for normal behavior (over spending, over eating, gambling)

Do You Get Depressed? - Use Personal Power to Undo Depression Symptoms

Depression is an 'invisible disease' because people tend to hide it. It seems logical to put up a front while it silently eats away at you. But there's a double-bind at work here.

Reaching out to others can lead us out of depression because we can get things off our chest and find out we are not alone. But there's a reluctance to do so. Many of us react to depressed people like it's contagious and we'd rather avoid them until it 'blows over'. This is more unconscious than deliberate.

In a 'winner and loser' culture it feels like social suicide to admit to suffering depression.
So when it strikes we often have to rely on ourselves to find our way out.

It's always better to recognise the symptoms early. Look for:

• feeling flat and heavy (in outlook or mood)


• wanting to disconnect from people


• everything seems to take more effort like "you're moving through molasses"


• a gnawing feeling in the gut with fearful flash thoughts


• pessimistic, self critical, and over-sensitive or thin-skinned


• Cranky and sullen body language


• Drinking too much caffeine.

If it lasts for more than a day then yes, you have a problem.

Depression finds a hook in you when things aren't going as well or as planned. It can come during periods of major life changes. It can arise from your fear of not being able to cope. It can be triggered by a cutting remark from someone when you least expect it. However it starts, it's always when you're off guard.

The way to get out is to start chipping away at it, piece by piece. Try these mind techniques that will loosen its hold:

Small triumphs - Say a friend or acquaintance compliments you on how you look or something you've done well. It doesn't hurt to linger and dwell on that compliment. (Any other time it might lead to vanity but applied to depression it's one nail out of the coffin.)

Count your blessings - There's truth in the saying that there's always someone worse off than you. Focus on the good things in your life. What you have, not what you lack.

Get inspired by a true life story - Getting a book or watching a movie about someone who survived incredible odds can give you a bigger perspective so that you don't enlarge the reasons for your depression.

Laughter is the best medicine - That does depend on the weight of your depression at the time. When you're really sad and have been low for many days, it's harder to see the funny side to life. So watching a good comedy may not hit the mark just yet because you're very sensitive in this state. You can try a comedy when the depression starts to lift to give you a boost in that direction.

Use the law of opposites - Listen to your inner dialogue. If you find yourself thinking in a defeated way, turn that thought around and say its opposite. For example, instead of "I'm going to be let down again" say "I can cope this time no matter what happens", or something similar.

Hot potatoes - Often the negative thoughts come too fast to counter each one. Or they are more like a parade of images and bad feelings. When this happens don't go along with any of it. Imagine you are dropping hot potatoes. Just drop them one after the other. Don't give them a second thought.

Avoid the news for a few days - If you watch the news each day, try to stop for a few days so you don't get affected by the bad news that too often comes with distressing images. Remember there are billions of us in the world and the majority are not living in squalor and war-torn violence.

See the silver lining - There's truth in the saying that for every adversity there's an opportunity. You may not see it at first but keep asking yourself what can I learn from this situation? Is there a hidden opportunity here? Sometimes a let down is a blessing in disguise. It could be saving you from a bigger disappointment.

Don't beat yourself up about it - A common reaction to depression is to feel bad about feeling bad. You must avoid this. It becomes a self feeding vicious circle and leads to low self esteem. It will keep depression hanging around for longer and even make it deeper. Sometimes it's okay to feel low. It's a natural reaction to a situation or experience so allow it to have its say. This is really important if the depression was triggered by a loss or mistake or failure.

Counter the body language - Depression manifests physically in the way you carry yourself, your facial expressions and gestures. Try to be like a child and force clown smiles. I say clown smiles because inside you don't feel like a smile at all. It's just pasted on your face. At the same time, sit up or stand straight so you don't slouch. Believe it or not this change in body language will trigger subtle shifts in your mindset.

Another variation is to get your partner into a ballroom dance spontaneously. If other family members are present, get them to do the zorba (Greek dance). Explain that you are trying to make yourself feel better. If you try this you'll find it's harder to keep depressed when you're dancing.

Muzzle that Chatterbox mind - Depression is always triggered by negative thoughts or emotions left to run rampant. Try to be self-aware by listening to your thoughts and reactions and letting go of the negative ones. They are not serving you.

I hope you try all or any of these tips. I have and they all work. Of course you should turn to a friend or family member about your low state but ultimately all they can do is offer you a sounding board, a shoulder to lean on and tea and sympathy. You are still left with the bad feelings which only you can deal with.

Reasons for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Have you noticed that rainy days make you feel tired and dull, while sunny days brings out joy? We all know that every occurrence has a reason, like in this situation it may have a scientific reason because of insufficient exposure to sunlight that has been related with low levels of melatonin and serotonin, weight gain and sleep disturbances.

Don't ignore that yearly feeling as a simple case of the blues because you may have a seasonal affective disorder. Seasonal affective disorder, which is also known as SAD, is a type of depression that is cyclic and seasonal, meaning that symptoms come back and go away at the same time every year.

It is also sometimes considered as a subtype of bipolar disorder. It can sometimes be difficult for a doctor to identify SAD because other types of depression may mimic SAD. Symptoms in SAD start in fall and continue into the winter months but less often in spring or early summer.

Studies show that SAD is diagnosed more in women than in men but men have more severe symptoms. It appears to be common among people who live far from the equator due to the decreased amount of sunlight during winter. It was also shown that people with it are more likely to have blood relatives with the condition. The disorder is classified as winter SAD, summer SAD and reverse SAD. A fall and winter version (winter depression) symptom includes depression, hopelessness, anxiety, oversleeping, loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed and appetite changes especially craving for carbohydrates. Spring and summer SAD (summer depression) symptoms include insomnia, irritability, agitation, weight loss, increased sex drive and poor appetite. Reverse SAD is a form of bipolar disorder and the symptoms are persistently elevated mood, increased social activity, and hyperactivity.

Researchers still do not know the cause of SAD in specific people. Some say that it is caused by genes, age and body's natural chemical. However, there are few factors, which may be to blame and this includes circadian rhythm (biological clock), melatonin levels and serotonin levels. The reduction of sunlight level in fall and winter interrupt the body's internal clock. The interruption of circadian rhythm could lead into depression. The seasonal change can lead to imbalance of the hormone melatonin. This plays an important role in patterns of sleep and mood. A drop in the level of the brain chemical, serotonin, could be partly responsible for SAD. The reduction of serotonin is caused by decreased exposure in sunlight and perhaps leads to depression.

Just like in other mental health disorders, SAD has treatments. Treatment includes light therapy, medications and psychotherapy. Light therapy also known as phototherapy uses a device that gives bright and white light is considered the best form of treatment at this time. It mimics the outdoor light and appears to cause a change in brain chemicals associated to mood. This is because of the hormones stimulated by way of the retina in the eye. Some people with SAD prefer to use medication for treating it. Medication includes; bupropion, paroxetine, sertraline, fluoxetine and venlafaxine. Bupropion helps in preventing depressive episodes. Psychotherapy is another preference. It can help in identifying and changing negative thoughts and behaviors into positive ones. It also has a beneficial impact in a person because he also learns a healthy way to cope with depression and manage stress.

Aside from the treatments, it is helpful to make your environment brighter and sunnier, take a long walk or soak up the sun and take exercise regularly. Physical exercise helps relieve stress and anxiety. Being fit makes you feel better and makes your mood lift. It is normal to have some days when you feel down but if you suffer a long time it is better to seek a doctor. It is a good idea to be well prepared in coming to a doctor so that you will not be afraid. Keep in mind that treatments may take several weeks to notice full benefits and not all medications have no side effects. It is better to choose an anti-depressant which has fewer side effects and remember about light therapy. It is better to talk to your doctor before buying the light therapy box to make sure you're getting a high-quality light box with the same type of light as the sunlight. In general, it's better to be more fit and have a healthy and nutritious diet to prevent any illness.