The nature of life is to be never constant and it is always full of surprises around every corner. The only way you will ever be able to succeed in life is by having the correct attitude towards change. The loss of a relationship is particularly hard to bear with especially if you have invested a great deal of your energy and emotions in it. We lose certain relationships because we grow apart from the people we love. The break can also come without any warning. Imagine how hard it is to bear with the death of a loved one or even with betrayal caused by another one. Grieving is a very natural action at the demise of a relationship, but the problem is that some people just do not know when to let to. Living with the ghost of a person one was once close to can be very debilitating and it will certainly prevent you making new relations and getting ahead in life. There are quite a few letting go quotes that illustrate this predicament perfectly.
Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk from Vietnam said, "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."
This behavior is all too common and it is a serious impediment to having a joyful life. There are many people who wallow so much in the past that they find it next to impossible to think about the future. In fact, the past holds a great deal of fascination for them and they keep returning to it time and time again. This applies equally to whether the past was full of bitterness and disappointments or was a time when life was good. In the latter instance, people idealize their past and refuse to believe that their future can ever match up to it. These obsessions are very unhealthy and can adversely impact one's present as well as future. One can also end up isolated from other people because it is unlikely that they will share this obsession. If these people think about the following quote then they will be able to free themselves from a lot of unwanted worries.
"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." - Havelock Ellis.
Most people who are trapped in the past are ones who have suffered abandonment or abuse at the hands of another person who they trusted and loved very much. They invest a lot in a relationship only to be dumped for a variety of flimsy reasons. Most people don't even see this coming and are completely unprepared for it. This is unfortunately all too common and the person at the receiving end of the bad treatment simply cannot come to terms with what has happened. Being ditched by a loved one is bad enough, but do you really want to make things worse for yourself by clinging to those events in your head and reliving every single bad moment of it? Besides, why would you want to think about a person who treated you badly when you should be doing your best to remove all traces of this person from your life?
Ann Landers, who was never at a loss for words, has one of best letting go quotes for this particular circumstance. She says. "Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise?live rent-free in your head."
In any case, it is simply a waste of time to think a lot about a person who has abandoned you, leaving you to your own devices. Of course, you do need to do a bit of introspection at the end of a relationship especially if it ended on harsh terms. However, this does not mean that you have to constantly think of what went wrong and what you could have done differently. Many people like to think that they could have clung to the lost relationship by behaving in a different manner or changing the way they look, talk or behave. This is one of the worst things that can happen when one does not know when to let go. It can lead to a reduced sense of self-worth and from then on to depression and self-destructive behavior. It is very common for people to punish themselves because a relationship has ended badly and they take to drugs and alcohol in order to make the pain go away. The simplest thing would be to realize that the relationship or the other person was at fault and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Think of this quote if you have been dumped very badly and you will start to feel a lot better about yourself:
"If he's dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go."
You are doing yourself a great disservice by having an unhealthy obsession with your past, especially if it concerns a loved one who has passed away. This is actually quite a common occurrence but it is also very self-destructive behavior. If you think that you are honoring the memory of the departed person by clinging to these thoughts, then you are completely wrong. In fact, you ought to honor the memory of the person who is no longer with you by celebrating the fact that you had a great time rather than mourning its passing.
Think of these words from Dr. Seuss, and you will feel a lot better than before - "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
It is very important to learn the art of letting go because there are so many things you could do instead of constantly floundering in self-pity. Life is full of opportunities, but you should be receptive to them else they will just pass you by. It goes without saying that you need to have the right frame of mind to receive this opportunities and you will help matters along if you thing positive thoughts only. Negative thoughts are a complete waste of time and they only fill you with unproductive negative energy. You will have very little energy left over for the important things of life if you waste it all on unproductive thoughts and actions.
The Queen of Daytime TV, Oprah Winfrey, put it very well when she said, "Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go."
Phil McGraw issued a very powerful commandment for people trapped in emotional quick sands. He said, "Stand up and walk out of your history."
Life is best lived if one looks forward instead of backwards. This does not mean that one shouldn't learn from one's mistakes. In fact, one should pay close attention to everything that transpires in one's life so that one doesn't do the same mistake all over again. Once one has learnt a few important life lessons from a particular episode, one can proceed to remove it from one's thoughts. It is a fact that one cannot entirely forget things that have happened in the past. However, one needs to be able to let them go so that they no longer have the power to affect one's life.
Even the famous inventor Alexander Graham Bell had similar thoughts on this subject when he advised people to not be trapped in despair but to look to the future. He said, "When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."
Letting go of negative thoughts and unpleasant situations does not mean that you should give up on a good thing as soon as the going gets tough. Perseverance is a very important attribute that is shared by winners. However, it is important to be able to differentiate between situations when one must fight to stay on and when it is a good time to let go. This is something that usually comes to you with experience and wisdom.
Think of what Jessica Hatchigan said, "There's an important difference between giving up and letting go."
It is a great pity if you have to lead life without the ability of letting go of negative things at the appropriate time. If you live under the tyranny of the past then you will rarely be able to do anything positive with your life and will not be able to cope with change. This is a terrible waste of your potential and you should not deprive yourself of the chance of doing well. You should therefore do all you can to make the best use of all the opportunities that life throws at you.
It was Albert Einstein who once said, "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving." Truer words have rarely been spoken and they contain an important truth for leading a happy life. He also said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
You have to take these inspiring words to heart so that you can lead your life in a happy and productive manner. Life is too short to be spent worrying about things that happened in the past and how things could have turned out to be different. You have to grab all available opportunities in order to make your life a success rather than staying imprisoned in a web of your own creation. There are plenty of letting go quotes that you could read in order to lead your life in the best possible way. Read them whenever you feel that you require support during tough times in your life (and there are bound to be plenty of these times). They will give you the inspiration you need when you are troubled by the inability to handle any type of change in your life. The breakup of a relationship will never again be something that you take ages to get over. In fact, you will be able to get over your sorrows after a while and can look forward to finding new and fulfilling love all over again.
No comments:
Post a Comment