Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Humor - Depression Can Be Fun!

Since you don't believe that fun exists when you're depressed, what you need to do is have negative depression. So you try your hardest to get more depressed, and then you fail, and get happier instead. Negative failure is a good thing; the two negatives cancel out!

Looking in the mirror can be a death knell for depression. That woeful, sad face you see looks so ridiculous that bursting out laughing is totally unavoidable. If you want to stay depressed, stay away from mirrors!

Anyway, there are lots of fun activities for the depressed person to enjoy. Especially in this financially depressed economic situation we find ourselves in at the moment.

Get all your bills that you can't pay, and make paper aeroplanes from them. Then the one that flies furthest is the one that gets paid first.

Read the telephone directory. Some of the weird surnames in there are bound to cheer you up!

Catch a cockroach and put it in a glass jar. Study it. Then be grateful you don't look like him. If you do look like him, then go look in the mirror and have a good laugh.

Write all your worries on a big piece of paper. Then have fun burning it in the fireplace. Maybe they'll go away! If you can't bring yourself to set it alight, then you are too attached to your worries!

Have a staring competition with the wall. The wall normally blinks first...

Tell your cat about your tough, unfair life. They normally fall asleep, so hold a cat treat up where they can see it to improve their attention span.

If it's foggy, freezing cold and drizzling... uh, well, that's a tough one. Maybe just stay depressed until one of those three clears up, then you can say "It could be worse!"

If you live in Zimbabwe, you can play monopoly with real money, and the kids can keep it at the end of the game. Or you could wallpaper your rooms with million dollar notes, which is cheaper than buying wallpaper!

If you've lost your job, imagine that you've got a free holiday from that horrible boss of yours. And remember that you are not alone - there's 52 million others like you, and counting.

If you're really sad, sprinkle some paint powder, all different colours, onto a large sheet of paper, and then cry over it. The tears will drop randomly and start creating an impressionist masterpiece, which you can later sell for a fortune. Trying to wipe up the tears gives an even better, messier effect. This is called the "depressionist genre" of painting.

Sit in a busy place and see how many sad faces you can spot. Some of them should be quite impressive. Shame, so many people have huge problems. Anyway, it'll probably help you to feel better! If you get to 100, treat yourself to a cup of coffee.

Launch a website called Misery makers, where you help people to get over their happiness, and help them to cope with bubbly, positive attitudes.

Watch the TV news. See how many people you can count that have worse problems than you.

Start your own blog. Start with an entry like this: "There's nothing in this blog because I didn't feel like writing anything. And if you post a comment here, I'm not going to read it." There's power in the internet!

So there you have it. Don't let depression be boring and tedious. Make it interesting. Have a load of fun! You may even look forward to being depressed!

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